If I was an adolescent right now, I’d completely fall apart. I’m over 35 years old, and sometimes I still completely fall apart. My reason for this blog is not to suggest that social media should be demolished or avoided. I understand its relevance and value, and it’s a part of my world. I’ve just noticed, within myself, the negative impact that it has on me sometimes, and how powerful this impact can be. The social structure of our contemporary society and the unspoken expectation to promote our existence as meaningful, compelling and “likeable” plagues me with anxiety.

When I was a teenager, I used to talk on the phone for hours. My friends and I would consult about what to wear… to school, to parties… anywhere that seemed important. Back then, our “outfit” was a form of individual expression. We were creating an image of who we were, what we like, and what we were about.

Now, the expectation is to create a digital expression of our identity. I feel pressured to have an interesting life that fits in with contemporary norms, capture it on camera, post it for the world to see, and wait for how many people “like” it.

Have you gone, in person, to catch up with a friend lately? Did you notice that when you asked them how they’re doing, there were ups & downs? Some things were joyful and exciting, while other moments were mundane, and others challenging and confronting? These kinds of conversations that keep it real are the authentic connections that we all need to feed our soul and honour our humanity.

Chances are, that if you looked at that same friend’s Instagram feed you’d get the impression that everything in their life is fabulous and incredible all the time. Because we’re all lying to ourselves and each other, posting and projecting idealized images of our life. I understand the benefit of aspiring to become the best version of ourselves, and sometimes social media posts are a representation of that; however, it can perpetuate the notion that there are things we should be proud of, and other things we should be ashamed of. We begin to compartmentalize and label our experiences based on “likes” and the opinions of others.

My challenge with this is that it seems like something is wrong if we’re not doing Earth shattering, incredible, ecstatic things all the time. There’s this unspoken “My life is better than yours” message. That’s not necessarily the intention, but it’s often what is felt. Especially among the more vulnerable and insecure populations.

The social media paradigm invites us to rely on “likes” to validate our choices and life decisions. It provokes misconceptions about who we are, what we are feeling, and how we display ourselves to others. The most dangerous thing of all is the misunderstanding within ourselves, placing more value on things that we can capture on film and post for other people to “like”, and less value on other parts of ourselves and our lives. It hurts my heart that there seems to be this increasing need to create a contrived, digital representation of ourselves in order to make connections and exemplify our worth in the world.

One of my greatest lessons over the past few years is that peace comes from acceptance. Not social acceptance. Not conditional acceptance. Not acceptance of the part of ourselves that we choose to put on display for people to “like”… but acceptance of it all. Love/Hate, Joy/Sadness, Success/Failure, Confidence/Fear, Empowerment/Uncertainty, Order/Chaos…

My wish is that despite this current day digital madness, you continue to love ALL of you, ALL the time. To feel wild and passionately engaged in what you do, because it’s YOUR LIFE… no matter what you choose, how the image might appear, or who might “like” it. #staytrue #itsyourlife